The Best Sex Music in the History of Ever

Doin' it to music is a great idea -- it will help you keep cadence, mask her moans and squeals from propagating through wafer-thin apartment walls, and will stop you dead with a heavy chest and chills when you hear that song play again in the grocery store years later.

Normally I leave the music-yes/music-no/music-which decision to the young woman I happen to be cavorting with -- because I'm just happy to be there, not gonna lie -- though, some of their selections were more appropriate than others -- especially on infinite loop.

However, the best sex music is, of course, the popular works of the American composer Raymond Scott. In particular, the bridge from his most famous composition, Powerhouse, placed on an infinite loop:

BEST. SEX MUSIC. EVER. Try it, I'm sure you'll agree. No, seriously. Try it. I'll totally buy you two* a beer if you do this. It'll be awesome, I promise.


* Please note that my saying "you two" should not be construed as hating on the polyamorous. I just know that if I don't introduce qualifiers, some clever person will play this at a ginormous orgy; then I'll be out a whole paycheck.